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It cannot help but be a huge, smelly train wreck of a movie. With the Star Wars time line forever destroyed by Mr. Lucas, there’s no way to right the ship of Continuity. This Titanic of a franchise has long since hit the bottom of the ocean.
2. J. J. Abrams. Or as he is known by much of fandom, Jar Jar Abrams. Having directed 2 non-Star Trek Star Trek films, he is now turning his small mind to Star Wars. And he’s welcome to it. Abrams has the uncanny ability to turn a promising premise into a silly and pointless exercise in dangling story lines and unanswered questions. Fans of Lost and Alias can vouch for this last point.
3. Darth Vader is still not the father of Luke Skywalker. I don’t care if the canon of Star Wars says that he is. In the original story, as written by George Lucas, Annakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were two distinct individual people. In his original story, Vader killed Annain out of jealousy. Annakin teleported away and became Boba Fett, while Vader gos onto become lying bad guy.
4. Speaking of Darth Vader, he is the BAD GUY, and they LIE. But according to Lucas’ terrible re-write that became Revenge of the Jedi, he was telling Luke the truth and he actually is his father. That thought just wants to make throw up.
5. In Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, both Ben Kenobi and Yoda talk about Annakin and Vader as two different people. The novels go even farther, talking about them being in 2 different places at the same time. Are both Yoda and Ben Kenobi blatant liars, telling Luke some desperate crap to keep him on their side? I don’t think they would lie to Luke.
6. Where does that leave us? In order for Ben and Yoda to not be liars, Annakin and Vader have to be different people. Therefore, Return of the Jedi and the pathetic sequels didn’t happen, and I’ve imagined it. Or Lucas changed his story for the sake of fan feedback, which is the worst feedback a Creator can get. It causes them to re-think what they have created. All too often, they go against their gut and change their story. 99% of the time, this ruins any story that comes after the re-think.
7. The technology for the prequels is better than that in the original trilogy, which takes places 25 years later. This makes no sense, except for the fact that Lucas did it to create brand new toys for kids to collect. No where in Star Wars, Empire or Jedi do you see any of those pretty ships seen in the prequels. A stupid decision made for purely material gain. -
I need to stop now before my brain begins to hurt. Suffice it to say I don’t have the slightest smidgen of a notion to even consider watching the new Star Wars film. I’ll just consider it a 2 hour toy commercial, which it partially is anyway. Anyone who disagrees with me can write to me and explain why they would even bother to go waste 2 hours of their time with this film.
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The MST3K Kickstarter has passed the $3.7 million dollars! With your help, we can surely pass the $5.5 million mark, and make an entire season of MST3K! Just post this message to Twitter & Facebook right now:
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Now, $3,708,868 is quite a sum, but only enough to make 6 episodes. We want a full season of 12. join us and make this dream a reality. http://mst3k.com/kickstarter
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To Your Future,
Tom, the High Traffic Wizard #BringBackMST3K
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